Bye Bye Boys


There’s a certain timbre in the coffee shop this morning. Porcelain colliding with wood, with more porcelain. Hushed voices. Whispers mixing with the steam of hot coffee rising.

As I glance back over my shoulder, I think of 2017. I see a mental billboard – a roadside advertisement featuring the famous bad boys. The lineup of naked egos exposed in their full self-glorification. 

Some courting felonies, some hoping for misdemeanors.


It was a year of cause and belated effect.

It was the truth of existence in operation, and a multitude of us watched with consciousness and remembrance of our own battles with the many flavors of abuse.

It was the year that Newton’s third law was made apparent to all.

It was a moment of satisfaction for me.

And to those celebrated offenders, I say:  “Bye Bye Boys. You’ve had your day. Now it’s time to go away.”


For all the unknown, the unexposed – may you wrestle with you consciences, have tea with your demons, and learn your lessons profoundly. Police Mystery Man

I am cordially indifferent to your individual plights.


I have only one sorrowful loss in this whole mess:  Garrison Keillor. He’s been my inspiration and a source of cynical, wickedly humorous Americana entertainment since 1980.

I’m angry that his fictional small-town tales and homey music have been removed from the terrestrial radio waves and the intergalactic currents.

Radio theatre is a dying art, as is impromptu storytelling.  I want the best to remain for as long as possible.

So desperate was I to find a replacement, I searched Podcasts and settled on “Welcome To Night Vale.” It seemed like a strong contender until I reached the episode of the three vomiting dogs.

Too rude, crude, and unattractively graphic for my taste. I unsubscribed.

Now, I’m back to the eloquent emptiness Garrison left behind.

And my anger deepens. I don’t know if it’s directed more at him or at Minnesota Public Radio. It’s a selfish and selective anger – Yes.

I want my small-town fantasy safely back on the radio each week, while I want him to scurry along and correct his wrongdoing.

Just get it right, Mr. Keillor. You’re an Anglican, a man of fair faith and intelligent virtue.

Just get it right with the Lord and get back on the airwaves.


From all of us at the coffee shop .  .  . we thirst for your witty gossip, disguised as provincial-minded chatter, to stimulate our decaffeinated minds.

One smart conversation begets another. And soon we can again have a community of cafe culture that enlivens the imagination.

I raise my cup of mocha chai to you. I need this gift restored.



4 responses »

  1. I loved the flow and imagery of this narrative, but got lost early with the “bad boys” — not clear if you’re referring to the movie (doesn’t seem to fit), the “bad boys” musical group (seems unlikely), or a metaphorical group of bad boys possibly representing the various celebrities who have been outed for their harassing behavior).

    That said, I feel the same about Keillor. I don’t know much about his particular circumstance — the multitude of accusations, partial denials and full exposures have started to glom together in my head. But I still remember listening to the early PHC shows while doing my laundry in the basement of my house in Warren, Ohio and thinking (at the time): “This is all rather genteel Midwest prairie Christian light humor.” But wait…there are some rather sharp-barbs of humor mixed in with the Norwegian bachelor farmers. And as i returned to the show over the years, I became more and more impressed with the groundbreaking mixture of sophisticated humor masquerading as down-home folksiness. “Cafe Boeuf,” “Lives of the Cowboys,” the Ketchup Advisory Board and especially “Guy Noir.”

    I miss my Keillor too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The “bad boys” are a reference to all the men outed for sexual abuse – those in Hollywood, politics, all public arenas. I didn’t want to use the same old journalistic jargon that’s become cliche, I wanted to keep them mysterious and cloaked in question marks, because they’re a collective persona that many women are likely to be secretly acquainted with. The whole subject is dark and painful. More dirty details and illuminated identities are not needed, however, I wanted to address the subject because it’s a scar of anger I’ve worn for a lifetime. And I wanted to release it in a privately enigmatic way. So, I’m pleased that you “loved the flow and imagery.” That’s important to me.

      So glad that you appreciated Garrison as I did. Many folks I know remained attracted to his “benign” Midwestern storytelling, and stayed on the surface level of sweet, old-timey, nostalgic radio programming. I found his true genius in literary multi-layering.

      Thanks so much for sharing your relationship with Mr. Keillor and for your feedback!


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